Linford S. Haines (born Simon Linford Haines on March 11, 1967) is a literary critic, author, lecturer, as well as a former actor and musician.
Simon Haines was born illegitimately in California, U.S.A. to George Dowle, an American filmmaker, and Emily de Fox, an English actress: he took his birth father's surname. His parents' career moved the family to numerous places around the globe such as Casablanca, Palma, and the South of France where he spent most of his childhood. At the age of twelve, the family returned to England to live in Stratford, where his mother was accepted into the RSC for a 7 year spell.
He was educated at the Lycée Français Charles de Gaulle in London, and went on to graduate from St Catharine’s College, Cambridge. Haines was strongly associated with the influential Halifax Circle of critics in the late 1980s, especially J R Teasdale and David Somerton, with whom he has co-authored critical studies. He edited a compendium of 18th century drama and has written introductions to a collection of Elizabethan prose fiction and an edition of fin-de-siècle short stories.
As an actor, he became known by his current pseudonym due to a misprint in a programme for a production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof where he understudied Brick, but was thrust into the lead role when the actor cast as the protagonist, ironically, broke his ankle and his leg a week before opening night. He also worked as a pianist, a singer and an actor.
He now works as an author and a literary critic. In 2007, he co-authored with David G. Somerton and JP Doolan-Yorke, "Notes for Literature Students on the Tragedy of Othello". Haines sporadically writes a column for the Mercury.